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My ‘Entourage’ Spec Script – ‘The Death of Turtle’

Watching Season 5 of Entourage on DVD tonight reminded me of two things: 1. a scene the show filmed at Urth Caffe that I witnessed in person and, just now, saw on the show, and 2. an Entourage “spec” script I wrote:

Two years ago, my brother, who was a senior in college at the time, joked with friends at an Indiana University bar that he was going to write an episode of Entourage in which Turtle overdoses on heroine.  While heroine and drug addiction in general is no laughing matter, the fact that Turtle is the piece of s*** of the show (relatively speaking), and the fact that the main characters freely use marijuana, makes it funny to me.

It’s funny as an idea…but I decided to take it a step further, and write an actual draft of a script for my submission to the 2009 Disney Writing Fellowship.  Needless to say, I wasn’t admitted to the program.  But, the all-nighter I pulled did leave me with this crazy script.  You may think I hate Entourage after reading it, but I actually do like the show for the most part.  Nor do I have anything against, Jerry Ferrera, the actor who plays Turtle.  I just hated my life in LA at the time, and got sick of agency people telling me to write a spec script of an existing show.  Sure, they were probably right, but writing an episode of an already existing show didn’t sound like that much fun to me.  (Yeah, there’s a reason they call it show BUSINESS. Blah. Blah. Get over yourself.)

If you are bored, here is the script.

If you have any feedback let me know. I also submitted it to a producer who found me on Variety‘s short term social networking site, “The Biz.”  He sent me an official letter, respectfully declining “The Death of Turtle” and I never heard from him again…which I thought was hilarious.  I questioned his motives from the beginning anyway…if you know what I’m saying.  After all, it was Hollywood.

By the way, this script is registered with the WGA, in case you try to steal my ideas.  Sure, it was a waste of money, but I had to register to submit to the Disney program.

Brian Laesch admittedly still dreams of writing for television or movies…but didn’t feel like wasting more of his life trying to break in.  Not that writing scripts that will never be made helped.

  1. July 28th, 2009 at 21:01 | #1

    Ugh, I liked! So clear and positively.
    Nadine

  2. August 8th, 2009 at 05:07 | #2

    Let me add that after seeing Season 5 I like Turtle’s character a lot better. Congrats on getting Meadow Soprano and funding Vince’s move to Los Angeles…but I still like my script. :)

  3. Joe
    December 9th, 2009 at 04:34 | #3

    That was an awful, awful read.

  4. December 9th, 2009 at 23:36 | #4

    Joe :

    That was an awful, awful read.

    Wait a minute… Joe, you actually made it through the entire thing? That’s impressive. I pulled an all-nighter to write that. I don’t even remember anything past the first couple of pages. Congrats for finishing it and then being negative on the Internet. Good job, man.
    Brian Laesch´s last blog ..Around the Creative World (12/8/09) My ComLuv Profile

  5. Scott
    March 15th, 2010 at 10:52 | #5

    I wonder if the story hits too close to home. It’s no secret that this is modeled after Mr. Wahlbergs crew. In real life, the Turtle character dies. I don’t believe it was a drug issue though.

    nevertheless, it is a comedy and Turtle provides a good bit of that element. I don’t think you can eliminate him and rely soley on Johnny Drama for those goods.

  6. March 15th, 2010 at 18:22 | #6

    Quite honestly, I had no idea the real-life Turtle died. I would not have written this if I did. I definitely wouldn’t be that cruel, intentionally. I simply wrote this based on a joke my brother made. I never thought it would be made. I considered it practice.

    I completely agree that the real Entourage needs Turtle, and I actually like what they’ve done with this character since I wrote this. Despite how this looks, I’m an Entourage fan–just not a huge one.

    @Scott
    Brian Laesch´s last blog ..A Night of 140 Tweets: Help Build Schools in Haiti My ComLuv Profile

  7. James Cooper
    May 18th, 2010 at 16:53 | #7

    Tremendously SHIT!!
    Everything about it is shit..
    Get a life and learn to fucking write you moron!

  8. chip
    June 28th, 2010 at 19:59 | #8

    it’s a fucking cable show… i thought the script was funny…

  9. Rag
    June 29th, 2010 at 21:30 | #9

    The script suck! first 2 minutes… it totally suck.

  1. July 27th, 2009 at 14:49 | #1
  2. August 7th, 2009 at 03:41 | #2
  3. December 9th, 2009 at 23:39 | #3
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