Brian Laesch .com

Rumor has it (and by “rumor,” I mean, I’m making this up), this is how James Cameron’s team pitched mega-blockbuster Avatar to 20th Century Fox:

3D technology meets FernGully: The Last Rainforest meets The Matrix meets 9/11 meets the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina meets Pilgrims vs. Indians meets any struggle over land in the history of the world meets American guilt meets 12 years of work with an unlimited budget meets the need for major escapism in a struggling economy meets James Cameron.

And then James Cameron said, “and I made Titanic. Boom,” and walked out of the room, as his assistants followed, carrying the tail of his oversize tuxedo tailcoat.

Why was James Cameron wearing a tuxedo tailcoat when he pitched Avatar? Duh… You don’ t know? Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.

And while none of the preceding is true; the themes and influences were actual things I thought about while watching Avatar this afternoon. (If you’ve seen the film, let me know if you agree or disagree.)

I still don’t know if I can call it a great movie…but James Cameron’s new epic summer holiday blockbuster is a great experience, and a must-see in 3D. The effects are unbelievable. When people say it will change cinema, I completely understand. I believe that it will. Although, I worry that it will change cinema by weakening stories and thinning plots, while the awe and amazement of glowing, flashing, blinking, neon 3D effects take over…

Then again, if you take things back to the early days of “moving pictures,” and realize that people go to the movies primarily to be visually stimulated, Avatar has done it’s job.  You simply have to see it to understand why it’s dominating the Box Office, and while it will continue to do so. It’s a phenomena in the true sense of the word. A potential turning point for the history of movies–especially in the 3D realm.

I don’t really have anything negative to say about it. If I had one complaint, it would be that Michelle Rodriguez’s character’s lines seem canned and corny. Her character is straight out of any other generic action movie you’ve seen before. They might as well have taken clips of her from S.W.A.T. and used those. It seems that she phoned this one in…or maybe she just made the wrong “choices” in her performance. Whatever the case, her character doesn’t add much to the film. And, generally, I’m a Michelle Rodriguez fan…so that’s saying something. (Of course, you don’ t know me from Adam. So, that’s actually saying nothing.)

If I had two complaints, the second would be that James Cameron will now have enough money to fill up the Scrooge McDuck-style “money bin” that he may or may not have, and that he hasn’t used some of that spare change to buy an option on my book. Come on, Jim (as we call him in the industry). You’ve got the dough.

The bottom line? Go see Avatar. You will probably have just as little to say about it as I do…but you will enjoy it.

Brian Laesch is the 3D Films Featuring Blue Creatures Editor at BrianLaesch.com.

I thought about calling this week’s edition of links “Around the Creative World (Holiday Purgatory)”…but figured that might be a bit depressing. You know the time of year though: in between Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve. It’s a blah time of year. If you are lucky enough to be off work, you might still be enjoying yourself. If not, you are counting down the days until the new year so you can move on. At least, I know I am. (Or maybe it’s just that I start a winter session course tonight and would rather still be in Florida.)

But there is one good thing about this time of year. Almost every single media outlet, in every medium, is releasing lists of the “Best of the Year.” And in this case, “Best of the Decade.”

• Avatar has just barley been release, and already AFI is singling it out as one of it’s eight significant moments of 2009.
• In case you were wondering, yes, Virginia, Facebook was the most visited site on Christmas. (Oh…your name isn’t Virginia?)
• Here are the 10 most-read AdFreak posts of the year.
• Do you want to know where digital marketing is going in 2010? Advertising Age thinks they know…
• And, Mashable has five things you need to know about mobile advertising for 2010.
• AdvertisingAge: Looking for a Second Career? Consider Being a Community Manager
• Do you have what it takes to apply for the position of “Twitter Genius“? I think I do…but I’m not sure that I want that title.
• In closing, here is Jack Bauer interrogating Santa Claus. (Also featured in The Rundown.)

Brian Laesch wishes you and yours a Happy 2010.

Just kidding. This edition of “Around the Creative World” has nothing to do with Tiger Woods. I just figured, since every other media outlet is jumping on Tiger’s back, I might as well do the same.

Today is December 15th, 2009. It’s hard to believe we are ten days from Christmas, in the thick of the holiday season, and about to complete a decade in the 2000s. I’ll try to keep these links holiday-related, if possible…

OK, I’m already seeing that is going to be tough. None of these links are holiday-related, but here:

• “Famous Amos” can’t even use his own name to sell cookies anymore.
• The staff of Creativity has released it’s favorite TV spots of the decade. The Cadbury gorilla ad is a must see.
• AdAge: Book of Tens: Ideas of the Decade
• Have I mentioned in the past that Eleventh Hour is on Twitter? I have? Well, have I mentioned that the Huffington Post is trying to monetize their Twitter stream? Oh yeah. It’s starting. The end of Twitter.
• Disney’s The Princess and the Frog took over the top spot at the Box Office this weekend. (Full disclosure: This is a filler link, as far as I’m concerned. But maybe you’ll enjoy it. The one positive thing I’ll say, based on the previews, is that it’s cool that Disney went back to the old-school animation look for this movie.)
• It’s hard to believe “The Flight of the Conchords” is ending their run already. It was a good two seasons. I guess they are taking a page out of the Ricky Gervais playbook?
• Get ready to watch HBO and Cinemax online…
• Speaking of watching stuff online…Justin.tv will be meeting with a House Judiciary Committee tomorrow morning to discuss the future of live online sports broadcasting.
• In closing, I wish eating at T.G.I. Friday’s was this fun…

Brian Laesch wishes you a happy holiday, even though, apparently, none of the previous link do.

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To save time, here is the blog I posted on ASU’s Community Exchange, verbatim:

Hi, my name is Brian Laesch. I’ve been in contact with Nuru International, an organization looking to end extreme poverty and, in turn, terrorism. You can read more on their website.

Here is a video that also explains the mission:

The End (Jake’s Story) from Nuru International on Vimeo.

As the current point person, I’m looking for is a student organization that is interested in sponsoring an informational meeting regarding Nuru in February. We need a student organization to reserve space on campus, and to promote the event to get students involved.

Through this meeting we would like to recruit volunteers and raise student awareness to put on an event on campus in April. This event would be called, “Be Hope to Her,” and consists of carrying buckets of water on top of one’s head across campus for 30 minutes–a trip that some women in extreme poverty make a few times a day, sometimes from a very young age, thus keeping them out of school. A better description can be seen in this video. This event would raise awareness and inform students about the mission of Nuru, and how they can get involved. This video shows footage from one of those events:

BH2O+ Day of Recap Video from Nuru International on Vimeo.

So if you are an organization that would like to be involved, and sponsor this event, please respond to me as soon as possible. In case my email isn’t displayed, here it is: brian.laesch@asu.edu. Thank you.

This time of year (especially in this economy), a good percentage of the unemployed/underemployed/retired adult working population decides to find seasonal work in a position that requires a suit–a red, fluffy, velvet, cotton-trimmed suit. Santa Claus (in case you somehow missed the title of this post).

While Eleventh Hour does not have a specific department dedicated to seasonal Santa work at shopping malls, charities and holiday parties, we do recognize this as an integral part of stimulating the economy during the holiday season (based on…the need to write a blog relating to Santa). Some people count on the Santa Claus gig as part of their yearly income; others play the role for fun, or because they already look like CK. (Was calling him “CK” too pretentious? My bad.)

But did you know there is an official “Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas“? Me neither, but there is…

Thanks, CNN! (I think this interview would be a lot better if CNN’s Ted Rowlands was nonchalantly wearing a fake beard to fit in with the group, though.)

“FORBS” even has an official website.

These guys look a lot easier to deal with than SAG or the WGA. Plus, the risk of a strike seems low, considering by the time both sides reach an agreement Christmas would be over. So maybe Eleventh Hour should look into the untapped resource of the seasonal Santa business. The potential candidate interview process alone would be entertaining enough to make it worth it. I can hear reception relaying the message now: “Anita, the bearded-guy from FORBS is ready.”

Merry Christmas…to whoever it is reading this blog.

Brian Laesch is not filing a discrimination lawsuit against FORBS (for age and thickness-of-beard discrimination, of course).

Thanks to a comment by a Danish Network for Research and Education student, faculty member, or employee,  named, “Joe,” who was obviously using the Danish Network for Research and Education’s Internet connection to look for Entourage spec scripts, instead of doing whatever it is that “Joe” does, I have decided to post another piece of incomplete work that I wrote months ago. I may as well keep ‘em coming. I’m using them as learning pieces and will never touch them again.

So thank you, “Joe.” You’ve inadvertently unleashed another of my masterpieces to the world. Thank you for your comment that my Entourage spec script was an “awful, awful read.” You had me at the first awful, but the second one showed me your masterful use of a comma and a repeated word to emphasis your true feelings. My skills are no match. Can you teach me your ways, “Joe”? Oh, please. Please, “Joe”! Show me how to be a good writer! My career is hanging in the balance! The grumbling stomachs of my 15 illegitimate children depend on you making me marketable! Please, “Joe”! Show me how to write! Show me how to live again! I can change!

Here is the next script. (Registered by the WGA.)

And here is the story behind it. (Feel free to skip this if you don’t care about the reason I wrote it. Just read the script.):

About nine months ago, while living in Indiana, I was approached by a Los Angeles friend about a credited producer (The Apprentice, The Amazing Race, America’s Next Top Model, etc.) who was looking for comedic, scripted material in the vein of Flights of the Concords or Demetri Martin. You know: “smart comedy.” (Or maybe “clever” is the word.) Unfortunately, since I was rehabbing myself from five years in Hollywood, I had blocked the right side of my brain, and had no ideas. But luckily, I logged into my gmail account and was able to brainstorm through gchat with a lifelong friend from Chicago. We came up with a Quantum Leap-style web series. Except, in this series, instead of the main character “leaping” into other people, famous historical figures “leap” into him, all while he is trying to get back with his ex-girlfriend (who is actually a gold digger and should not be re-pursued). We thought it was a funny concept. I wrote an 8-page pilot script. I sent it to the producer via email. I received a quick response, but was told that it would be discussed the following week…which never happened. That was the start of a back-and-forth email chain that lasted for months. Either the script has not been read, the script was not well-received, my lack of budget-conscious writing was considered amateurish, or some combination of the three. Whatever the case, I never received any feedback. I understand the guy is busy, so it’s all good. But I need to move on. And I’m sick of writing stuff that never sees the light of day and ends up buried in a lame little Documents folder on my desktop. So here’s the script:

Quantum Leap of Love 1.1

Feedback is welcomed. After all, I put an entire book out there and survived that. So obviously, I’m looking to be critiqued.

Brian Laesch is the author of “The Verge of Psychosis: An Aspiring Actor’s Journal,” a paid blogger, and a current MBA student.

Welcome back to Around the Creative World. “We’re like fire and ice, taking over the whole world.” Today is Tuesday, December 8th, 2009.

I kind of feel like Conan O’Brien doing a monologue right now. Why? Because, unlike some past “shows,” I know today’s list of links is good. Not that others have been bad…but, I’m especially excited about today’s crop of URLs.

As Diddy always says, annoyingly, on Twitter, “LET’S GO PEOPLE!!!!”

• Let’s start this morning off right with a little Rhianna featuring Shy Ronnie. (I can’t believe how sick this track is, bro.)
• That’s not doing it for you? OK, watch this new UPS White Board ad while I find a better link.
• Oh. Here it is… Complete episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 are now streaming on Hulu. Merry Christmas.
• The United States government has deployed Lil Wayne to Mexico to battle Mexican drug cartels. Operation “Weezy F. Baby” is in full effect. Nancy Reagan must be so proud.
• NBC Universal’s Jeff Zucker praises the Comcast deal. (I didn’t really read this article. I just wanted to namedrop Jeff Zucker.)
• Twilight‘s rein at the top over? Somewhere a fake vampire teen is crying…but The Blind Side has taken over the top spot at the box office. Yes! Jocks win again!
• AdvertisingAge: Google Goes After Social-Network Search With Facebook, MySpace
• JetBlue releases a holiday gift guide “for those times when you’re not on JetBlue.” I need one of those “knee jockeys”…for real.
• Quenton Tarantino is featured in a random commercial for Japan’s Softbank here.
• American kids love Paraguay’s Pulp Cola! (Even though I think this actor is 33.)
• North American Breweries is planning to display the world’s largest beers at their headquarters in Rochester, NY. (Is Tuesday morning too early to be thinking about beer?)
• Anybody else notice the cool Popeye logo on Google today? For that matter, does anyone in the world have a day where they don’t use Google?
• Russell Simmons and Global Grind have acquired CelebrityTweet. I’m guessing that the name Russell Simmons is what makes this acquisition a story.
• On that note,  I leave you with the latest effort from the newly-signed Def Jam artist (not really) Shy Ronnie. (Yes, again.)

Brian Laesch will someday retire from the link-compiling game. But until that day, he’s known as the “Best Link Compiler Alive.”

Forget Twitter. Forget social media in general. These guys are changing movie marketing with their new form of “in your face” advertising for the “blockbuster,” 2012. In fact, this may create a whole new segment for temping, staffing and recruitment within Eleventh Hour‘s entertainment division:

Fine. I’m joking. This isn’t a real video discussing a new form of legitimate movie marketing. I know you believed me, initially. Sorry to fool around with you guys like that. Happy Friday.

Brian Laesch will head up the new division of in-your-face movie marketing at Eleventh Hour, starting in 2013.

I grew up playing basketball in Central Illinois. We sometimes played in “ghetto” gyms (which is a term I use in the most respectful way possible). I’m used to things getting “crunk” in the bleachers. I’m used to wooden pull-out bleachers being transformed into a surprisingly efficient percussion instrument. But in all my “travels” around Illinois to play basketball, I never, ever, saw anything like this:

Ladies & gentlemen, I give to you the crunkest homecourt advantage in America, the N.C. A&T Dawg Pound! Maybe even the crunkest homecourt advantage in the history of sports. The N.C. A&T Dawg Pound are doing it right! This has gotta be the coolest thing I’ve seen in a while. (You’d think I could remember.) I wish the fans of Arizona State basketball games would display just a third of the enthusiasm of N.C. A&T fans. Then again, the games are pretty empty, and the dancing of a mix of mostly Caucasian, Hispanic, Native-American and African-American fans would probably look a little different.

Brian Laesch can’t stop watching this video and thanks Austin for sending the link. Go N.C. A&T Dawg Pound.

Hope you had a good Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I only participated in one of the three. Can you guess which one?

After finally recovering from the Tryptophan (aspiring witty-types love this word; I only use it for search engines), I’ve decided to get back to work and post another edition of “Around the Creative World.” So here are your links for this Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009. (It’s hard to believe we’ve been through a decade of the 2000s.)

• Guess which movie won the Box Office this holiday weekend? You guessed it…Frank Stallone. I mean, Twilight Saga: The New Moon.
• You’ve probably seen this, but here is the Chinese news reenactment (using The Sims) of Tiger Woods’ recent accident. (Also featured in this morning’s Rundown.)
• Are you ready for MTV’s “Jersey Shore”? Taking back the word “Guido.” (There is nothing I can say that would add to the ridiculousness of this show’s cast members.)
• AdvertisingAge: How Will Accident Affect Tiger Woods’ Blue-Chip Endorsements?
• I have no idea which round we are in of the Verizon-AT&T “Battle of the Map,” but I’m really enjoying it. AT&T decided to relate to the Idiocracy crowd by responding with a campaign from the out-of-shape Luke Wilson. (Full-disclosure: I’m currently a member of “Team Verizon.”)
• Is this the future of TV? (I’m gonna be completely honest, I didn’t read this one. I don’t have time to read science fiction novels these days, unfortunately.)
• PETA loves trying to ruin Thanksgiving.
• Spirit Airlines wins the award for “Most Unnecessary Use of a Current Pop Culture Event in a Sales Promotion.”
• TechCrunch: Google Gives Publishers More Control Over How It Crawls Their News
• I think the CIA is probably following me on Twitter. (You know that Eleventh Hour is on Twitter, right?)
• Maxim magazine will not go gently. It is going to unleash hell in December! Oh…sorry. I thought I was Pittsburgh Steelers’ coach Mike Tomlin for a second.

On that note, I’m done. Try not to unleash too much hell this month. Enjoy the holiday season while it’s here. Recession, or not.

Brian Laesch compiled this list of links. It is the most important list of links that has ever been compiled.

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