
The Superficial beat me to the punch…I mean, to the Sobe lifewater (hey-oh). Oh well. That’s to be expected when a massive viral media blitz featuring new Sobe lifewater flavors and hot pictures of Ashley Greene from Twilight (I’m told) in a body paint bikini hits the Internet. I could have had my “exclusive” pictures of Ashley Greene from a Sports Illustrated photo shoot up on Wednesday January 6th. (Except, they would not have been exclusive, and I didn’t receive as many photos as The Superficial did.) Instead, I opted to wait for the free samples of Sobe lifewater’s new flavors, Cherimoya Punch and Strawberry Dragonfruit, to be FedExed from NYC. I stand by my decision…regardless of any missed spike in traffic. And judging by the pictures I received, compared to the ones The Superficial has, I’m guessing it would not have been much. Even I would advise you to check out The Superficial’s pics over the ones I’ve posted.
Excuse me…I need to do something for the search engines: Ashley Greene nude. Nude Ashley Greene. Ashley Green in a painted-on bikini. Hot Ashley Greene photos. Ashley Green nude photos.
OK, I’m back. That should do the trick.
That being said, when a major, reputable PR agency in NYC considers your blog for a promotion, it’s a cool thing. And I’m happy to review these two new SoBe Lifewater flavors. (Did I mention they are called “Cherimoya Punch” and “Strawberry Dragonfruit” and each have zero calories? I know! It is cool. Or should I say “c00l”?… No? OK.)
Thoughts on Cherimoya Punch:
From the get-go, I could taste the “Sobeyness” of this flavor. I’m not too picky when it comes to vitamin enhanced water beverages (full disclosure: I contribute to the respective market shares of most vitamin enhanced water beverages), but I definitely enjoyed this lean machine flavor. And since I pride myself on being in good shape at the moment (since I’m underemployed and have the time), and as much as I joke around, I like the fact that is has zero calories. I like it a lot.
If I was Gary Vee, which I most certainly am not (my palate detects two types of wine: “cheap” and “expensive”), I’d say Cherimoya Punch hits you with a faint cotton candy scent, teasing you, until you drink it and discover a different, cool, refreshing, better-tasting Lemon Chill-type flavor–with a hint of Bomb Pops you used to buy from the neighborhood ice cream man.
I also tasted a hint of New Zealand prairie grass. (Not really, but I felt the need to add something that sounds distinguished.)
Thoughts on Strawberry Dragonfruit:
I reviewed “the white.” Now it was time to review “the red.” While Strawberry Dragonfruit didn’t remind me of anything new, it did provide that wonderful Sobe flavor that I’ve come to expect from a lean machine beverage, ever since I drank the fountain version of Sobe’s Cranberry-Grapefruit Lean three times a week while working at New Line Cinema and eating lunch at Quizno’s. (The New Line Cinema reference was an unnecessary brag. My bad.) Between that, and handing out free Sobe bottles at radio promotional events for the former Zone 101.5 in Phoenix in college, I’m a regular Sobe connoisseur. (Again, I was looking at my resume today. I apologize.)
If I was Gary Vee, again, I would say, unlike Cherimoya Punch, which surprises you, Strawberry Dragonfruit picks up steam as you chug, developing it’s taste and pleasing your palate with a very definite strawberry taste, followed by a hint of the tasty part of cough syrup (with no aftertaste), followed by realized excitement about draining your lizard later that day. I also detected a hint of peppermint bark and those old style wax candy root beer bottles. (Again, not really, but I had to amp up this critique.)
Bottom line: If you liked SoBe before–especially lifewater–you will like these new flavors. In my opinion, the zero calories do not take away from the taste. And since I usually drink these after working out anyway, the taste is not my primary concern. It should not be yours either. And if it is…you have weird goals for consuming vitamin enhanced water beverages, my friend. And this is not at all to say that these flavors don’t taste great. They do for me.
And check out what they did to me after I drank them…


"The Less of a Situation"
Yup. Before I drank these bottles of Sobe lifewater lean machine, Cherimoya Punch and Strawberry Dragonfruit, I wasn’t wearing a shirt. Afterward, I was jacked, and this t-shirt and a pair of Seven jeans were painted on my body. Unbelievable. Drink more SoBe…

Related: Full press release here.
Brian Laesch is an independent blogger/reviewer of new products that fit his demographic. Don’t worry, IRS, you do not need to come after him.
Brian Laesch Advertising, Drinks, New Products